Are you sick and tired of dating deadbeat losers? Let me give you some real advice that you can use to channel your Cancer Zodiac sign to help improve your dating game.
This is the better way to approach dating tips than individually outlining the different compatibilities a particular horoscope sign would have with other signs from the perspective of those other signs.
Do you understand where I’m coming from? It’s very easy to run out of space. Also, it would be very confusing to write dating tips that way. By necessity, dating tips for Cancer women must begin with a recap of the Cancer personality and then we’ll take it from there.
To wrap up the Cancer personality, we only need to focus on one sentence: what you see is what you get.
We only need to focus on that sentence. Why? That’s the complete opposite of the Cancer personality.
The typical Cancer is somebody who looks like they’re doing something, who looks like they are a particular person who looks like they have a certain personality type, but deep down, they’re the complete opposite or they’re quite unrelated.
It’s very easy to look at Cancer people as basically putting on a show. The most common configuration of the Cancer personality, Cancer women included, is of a person who seems to have her head on straight, who has the right goals, who seems to be making the right plans and the right progress through life, but deep down, she is a mess.
She is just basically emotionally needy, uncertain of herself and has really low self-esteem.
What explains this disconnect between what you see on the outside and the reality on the inside?
Very simple.
The sign of the Cancer is based on the crab.
When you crack a crab open, you notice that the outside shell of the crab is very tough. In fact, if you get too close to a crab, it can pinch you.
Those pincers pack a nasty sting. However, if you’re able to crack a crab, deep down inside is a very soft, gooey mess. It tastes great when you boil the crab or cook the crab, but left raw is a nasty, gooey mess inside. That sums up the Cancer personality.
Outside they are tough, they are determined, they seem to be going places in life; they seem to have life all figured out.
Deep down there are some nasty doubts.
The big challenge to the crab is to basically live a life of integrity that if you’re going to be tough outside, if you’re going to be well-put together outside, make sure that you’re well- put together inside as well. It takes time for the crab to do this. To make matters worse, Cancers tend to wall people off emotionally.
If you step on their toes one too many times, they basically just wall you off emotionally. They’re still friendly, don’t get me wrong, but the friendship will never progress past a certain point.
They may still be your lover, but guess what, your relationship is, for all intents and purposes, dead because it has stopped growing at least as far as the Cancer partner is concerned, especially in 2016.
These are key fundamentals of the typical Cancer personality that you need to understand when looking at dating tips intended for Cancer women. With this in mind, here are four dating tips for Cancer women.
It’s Okay To Be Defensive
I know this might cut against the grain. This might be counter-intuitive, but if you’re a Cancer woman, you have to remember that it’s always okay to be defensive. By being defensive, it means that you are putting up a wall. By being defensive, you’re trying to protect yourself emotionally.
The reason I say its okay is because this piece of advice prevents you from putting on a bigger act.
The whole point of dating really is that it is a striptease. While it often leads to a physical striptease wherein you basically make love with each other, it’s much deeper than that. It’s also an emotional striptease. You have to listen to signals to each other to shed layers of defensiveness so you can show the real person deep down inside.
The whole point of dating is really to find a partner and you can’t find a partner if that partner doesn’t really know the real you. Do you see where this is headed?
So by understanding that it’s okay to be defensive hopefully this will prevent you from putting on bigger walls. Hopefully, this will just allow you to put up small walls or medium-sized walls. But hopefully, this prevents you from putting on a grand production.
Know When to Drop the Wall Slowly
Once you’ve accepted the fact that it’s okay to be defensive, here comes the next tip. When you’re out dating or when you’re already dating a guy, know when to drop your wall slowly.
This doesn’t mean it has to collapse overnight like the Berlin Wall, but learn to listen to your partner. Learn to know when it’s safe to kind of chip away at the wall you’ve erected around yourself.
I understand why you need to do this because Cancer people often feel that they’re not worthy, they have low self-esteem and they have low self-worth.
Its okay to feel those things, but eventually you need to show those aspects of yourself to the person you want to have a real relationship with, otherwise, the relationship is not going to last.
Learn to read the other person so you know when to drop parts of your emotional wall at the right time.
Emotional Intimacy Always Carries the Risk of Pain
I can’t emphasize this tip enough.
You have to really wrap your mind around this concept. There is no such thing as a pain-free relationship. Even your happiest friends who are in relationships, experience pain in their relationship. People’s feelings do get hurt. People are often insensitive.
People often do the wrong things at the wrong time. That’s just part of the risk of being alive.
That’s just part of the risk that we take being in a relationship.
If you’re in a relationship and you’re opening yourself up intimately to this person, you are putting yourself out there; you are being vulnerable and guess what, you will get hurt from time to time.
You need to be at peace with this and you need to move on. Love is worth rolling the dice for. Love and emotional fulfillment is worth sacrificing a little comfort for.
Use the Right Filters
You have to know which guy to trust. Just because I’ve mentioned that you have to drop your walls slowly and you have to roll the dice when it comes to risking emotional pain doesn’t necessarily mean that you should trust every Tom, Dick and Harry that comes your way.
There are guys that you should never trust. These are guys that are very destructive. Why? They’re very selfish. They know that they are immature. They know that they need to grow up so what they would do is suck the emotional marrow out of an unfortunate female and once they’ve fully grown; once they’ve fully developed, once they’ve matured, they leave you.
Why?
They’ve outgrown you.
You need to use the right filters to really read through the different signals guys are sending you and make a clear decision as to which guy you can trust. What makes this really hard is that Mr. Right looks like exactly Mr. Wrong. In many cases, Mr. Wrong looks like he is the perfect guy.
But people always send out signals so it’s always a good idea to have really your antenna up and really pick up on these signals and understand people for who they truly are.
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