First, before I talk about tips that would help Aries and Gemini couples resolve fights in their relationships, let me be clear about this one point: expect fights to happen.
You know you are in a weird relationship when you never fight. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
Relationships always involve two totally different people.
You may look similar, you may have similar jobs, you may have similar educational backgrounds, you may have the same social circles, but deep down ask people and you are different from each other.
This is why there is bound to be conflict in a relationship.
The good news is that this should be expected. Whenever you have two different people together in a relationship, disagreements and misunderstandings are bound to happen.
That is just part of the territory. Instead of looking at fighting as something that you are embarrassed about or you try to avoid at all cost, you should adopt the right mindset. You should expect it.
By expecting a fight, you too would be in a better position to ensure that your relationship survives the fight.
In fact, there are many otherwise happily married couples who fight almost every single day.
In many cases, these fights are actually quite therapeutic. These fights actually clear away a lot of the dead wood in the relationship that enable genuine expressions of love and honest communication to prosper.
My point here is to not be afraid that you and your partner fight.
It is all about setting up the right rules, so that your fights can lead to something productive.
Here are 12 tips to enable you to fight less and love more.
Accept Your Differences
I do not want to sound harsh here, but you are in a relationship with somebody precisely because that person is different from you.
If you wanted to date somebody that is exactly the same as you, then you probably would not have done that.
Chances are, there is something about this person that attracted you to him or her and guess what, nine times out of ten it is not a trait that you yourself have.
Remember this and celebrate it. Learn to accept it.
The differences are what make relationships fun. The differences are what make relationships worth staying in.
Once you understand the value of differences, you can work to accept it.
When you accept it, your expectations change and this can have a tremendous impact on how often you fight.
Take the Time to Fully Know Each Other
The interesting thing about relationships is that we never really fully know each other.
In a typical relationship, fully knowing your partner is really a work of a lifetime.
People have many different issues. We have many different ways of trying to mask our true selves.
In some situations, we do such a good job of fooling others regarding who we truly are that we ourselves are fooled.
This is why you have to take the time to fully understand and know each other. It takes time.
A relationship is really a work in progress.
There is really no single point in time where you can say that you fully know your partner.
Your partner is like a flower that is constantly unfolding. With every petal you take off, there is another interesting nuance and fascinating detail.
This is what makes relationships fun. This is what makes a relationship an adventure.
Of course, there are rough spots in this process.
When you try to know each other, there are certain revelations that might not make you feel good.
There might be certain things that come to the surface that might rub you the wrong way.
That is just part of the process. There might be some pain involved, but do not let that define your relationship.
Don’t Assume You Know Each Other Already
This flows naturally from the point raised above.
It is easy to think that if you spent enough time and put in enough years in your relationship, then you already know your partner.
If you reach this point and you start thinking this, chances are you are walling off your partner.
In other words, your partner is still changing and your partner is still growing, but you close your eyes to that.
You just reach the point where you tell yourself I already know you and I don’t need to know anymore.
This is unfair to you and it is also unfair to your partner. This is why it is crucial to never assume that you know each other fully.
Focus on Your Similarities
While your differences are what make your relationship unique and special, a lot can be said for your similarities as well.
Your similarities form a nice bedrock for the relationship. This is a common staging area from which you can explore your relationship.
Make it a point to touch base regarding your similarities.
Make it a point to focus on what you have in common instead of the things that divide you.
You will be surprised as to the level of calm and the amount of positive feelings focusing on similarities can produce.
Understand That It is Your Differences That Attract You to Each Other
Opposites do attract. In many cases, it is the things that we find imperfect that make life interesting.
It is okay to be different. As long as you do not put a negative judgment on that difference, that difference can be a beautiful thing.
That difference can be a source of magnetism for both partners.
Celebrate Your Differences
It is your differences that can actually make your relationship thrive.
Everybody has a different set of strengths and weaknesses.
Your relationship would prosper when you lean on your partner’s strengths in a particular situation and he leans on your strengths in another situation.
When you celebrate your differences, you increase the likelihood that you both will complement each other.
Appreciate Your Differences
Instead of sweeping your differences under the rug or making all sorts of negative judgments on your differences, learn to appreciate these differences.
You have to understand that your partner may not do things the exact same way you prefer to do them, but there is a reason why he or she does things that way.
Learn to appreciate that reason. Learn to move on.
Understand What You Lack that Your Partner Has
By looking deep within you and honestly realizing that there are certain things you are missing, you can do your relationship a big favor.
By being honest about the things that you lack, you can put yourself in a position to appreciate the qualities that your partner has that can compensate for your missing piece.
I hope you understand how all this all works out. It is all about completing each other.
It is all about a complementary relationship.
Learn How to Fight the Right Way
Believe it or not, fights are going to be inevitable. Whenever you put different people in the same space together, there is bound to be misunderstanding and there is bound to be miscommunication.
Instead of trying to run away from this or trying to deny this, tackle it head on.
Take the bull by the horns and agree to fight the right way.
This means trying not to be too personal. Emotionally speaking, this means not hitting below the belt.
Focus on Communicating Clearly
When you are fighting, instead of trying to hurt the other party, focus instead on communicating as clearly as possible.
If this is your main project in fighting, your fights would be more meaningful and most importantly, it can lead to more productive results.
Agree on “No Go” Zones When Fighting
Agree beforehand that you will not talk about certain topics when you are fighting.
Usually this involves talking about your in-laws or your partner’s father or mother.
This also can involve agreeing to not talk about certain topics from the past.
This is really important because when you set these ground rules before you fight, you prevent the fight from escalating and becoming very heated, very emotional and very personal.
In other words, you are setting ground rules so that your fights do not end up with both partners emotionally damaged.
Set a Resolution Deadline When You Fight
Another key tip I can give you when it comes to fight management is to set a resolution deadline.
This means that you are going to set a deadline where the fighting will stop and you would come to some sort of agreement.
It may not be a 100% perfect agreement, but at the very least it should be a resolution. It should stop both parties from re-igniting the fight.
Set up that deadline. You may fail the first time, but keep trying until both of you abide by the deadline.
- Accept Your Differences
- Take the Time to Fully Know Each Other
- Don’t Assume You Know Each Other Already
- Focus on Your Similarities
- Understand That It is Your Differences That Attract You to Each Other
- Celebrate Your Differences
- Appreciate Your Differences
- Understand What You Lack that Your Partner Has
- Learn How to Fight the Right Way
- Focus on Communicating Clearly
- Agree on “No Go” Zones When Fighting
- Set a Resolution Deadline When You Fight