Cancer people are very interesting individuals. On the one hand, they seem like they have the world by the tail. They really do.
They have a great career. They are great with people. They seem to be going places in life.
They appear to have their heads screwed on right.
It seems that many Cancer people are precisely the kind of people you should be envious about.
They definitely live up to the high standards that most people have. It’s very easy to be envious of Cancer men and women.
The other reality of the Cancer is that, deep down, they are very insecure and they feel that they don’t have it together.
People might think that their lives are doing well but Cancers often believe that they are losing control. They feel that they are in a downward spiral.
It seems that there’s a big disconnect between how the world perceives the Cancer and how the Cancer perceives his or her world. What gives?
There’s obviously a lot of insecurity here. There are also a lot of feelings of inadequacy.
This should not be a surprise. If you look at the Cancer, it’s based on the crab.
When was the last time you opened a crab up? A crab is a sea creature that has a very tough exterior. It has a hard shell.
However, if you peel off the shell, inside is a really soft tissue.
In emotional terms, this describes the Cancer person perfectly.
Outside, they’re very strong and well-put together but inside, they’re falling apart. They are very mushy inside.
This tension between internal and external reality drives the Cancer personality.
This can push Cancers to excel in their careers and school, but it can also cause serious problems in their relationships.
If you’re a Cancer person, and you want to strengthen your relationship, you need to ask the following questions. These questions focus on communication.
By getting the right information, you can feel self-conscious and be more confident. Moreover, you would be less anxious about your relationship and feel more accepted.
This can lead to an upward spiral. The more comforting your relationships are, the stronger you feel. The stronger you feel, the more comforting and accepting your relationships become.
It can easily lead to a positive call and response process that leads to a greater sense of personal happiness and fulfillment.
How can I be a better partner to you?
Notice this question is directed to the other person. Notice that this question is all about you doing something for another person.
The main problem with the Cancer’s internal turmoil is that the more you think about yourself, the worse you feel. This is not surprising.
If you focus your mind’s eye on what’s going wrong or what you don’t have, it’s very easy to feel depressed and to feel discouraged. Why?
Because you’re just focusing on yourself and your problems.
However, if you focus on others, you have less time to be sad or feel insecure.
Instead, by seeking to love and serve others, you gain a sense of self-sacrifice.
The interesting thing about love is that the more you give up yourself, the more you gain and the stronger yourself becomes. This is the paradox of loving and being loved.
By asking how I can be a better partner to you, you are opening lines of communication.
You are opening an opportunity for a better connection with your partner.
This question is more directed towards you. You have to understand that the more you bottle things up, the worse things will be for you.
Emotions are not like wine. When you keep wine bottled up and stored in the dark somewhere, it gets better.
Not emotions. Emotions actually blow up. Emotions turn sour.
It becomes toxic after a while. You have to let it out.
If you’re in the right relationship, this should not be a problem. Your partner should be accepting and more than willing, ready, and able to listen to you.
By asking your partner how you want to share your feelings, you’re setting some ground rules.
You are setting up a situation where lines of your communication are open and there are fewer opportunities for misunderstanding.
The worst thing you can do is to bottle things up and let it build up to a point that it blows up.
Nobody likes bursts of emotions. People don’t like to be emotionally ambushed.
By asking your partner how he or she prefers that you share your feelings, you are paving the way for solid emotional intimacy.
What way do you express your affection?
This might seem like a no-brainer or an obvious question with an obvious answer. However, people hide from each other all the time.
It’s not uncommon for people in a romantic relationship to hold back in the way they talk to each other. They feel that if they say something wrong, they might alienate their partner.
They love their partner so much that they would rather suppress their affections, just so they could hang on to their partner. This could lead to co-dependency and sick relationships.
By simply asking point-black how your partner expresses his or her affection, you get a solid truth.
You get locked in to their love language.
There are several love languages. Some people express their affection by giving gifts; others by simply touching or saying a kind word. Others do acts of service or spend quality time.
Regardless, people have their preferred way of showing affection.
If you are very busy, or you’re just too focused on your internal issues, you might not be able to read your partner accurately. You might not recognize how he or she expresses affection.
By asking a simple point-black question, you can zero in on how this person communicates their affections and communicate that way.
You have to understand that people communicate their affections the same way they want affections communicated to them.
This question simplifies a lot of drama in relationships. Everybody is needy and has issues.
By asking your partner how you can share in your needs, everything is made clear and transparent.
This way, there are no surprises. This way, your partner doesn’t feel like it just blow up from time to time.
Asking these questions are not going to be easy. However, they are necessary.
If you ask these questions, and you fully resolve them, your relationship will not just become stronger but will last indefinitely.
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