The funny thing about the Cancer is that they really are a study in contrasts. From outside appearances, a lot of them seem like they have life by the tail. Seriously.
They seem to be going places in life. They seem to be taking good care of themselves.
Many of them seem to be in control of every situation they find themselves in. Many seem to have a solid career.
Plus, they conduct themselves like it is going to be very hard to throw them off track.
Indeed, among many groups of friends, co-workers or classmates, the Cancer can often seem to be the rock of solidity and confidence people can rely on.
If this only were completely true. You see, with Cancer people, what you see is almost often not what you get.
Don’t get me wrong, Cancers are solid… to an extent.
However, there’s an invisible line with them. Once your friendship crosses this line, you can see the other side of the Cancer.
Again, their outer appearance is real but so is their internal dynamics and emotional state. This is where things get a bit more, well, complicated and murky.
The problem is that reality often doesn’t match perception. The things that you see are often just a tiny proportion of what’s really going on.
If you were to look past the nice shiny exterior, there’s a lot of turmoil in a Cancer psyche.
This comes with the territory. The reason why is because the Cancer is often driven by insecurity.
There is a deep and profound sense of inadequacy that often informs and fuels their daily lives. A lot of their decisions are simply manifestations of this internal conflict.
The old saying of “what you see if what you get” certainly doesn’t apply to the typical Cancer.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that Cancers are emotional liars. I’m not saying that they’re putting on a show.
They’re not just simply going through the motions. In many cases, they may actually be happy.
But if you look at their lives on a deep and profound level, there is a big void there. There is a deep emotional hole that they’re trying to fill. This is the core of the Cancer persona.
Successful Cancers simply mature. They are able to turn this disadvantage to an advantage.
However, Cancers who are immature let this internal dichotomy poison a lot of their relationships.
There is a lot of unnecessary strain because of this unfortunate interplay between deep emotional reality and what we can perceive from the outside.
Cancer People Clam Up in this Kind of Relationship
So what does this have to do with your lazy and boring Cancer boyfriend?
Well, the typical Cancer strategy for dealing with uncomfortable situations is to simply clam up.
They simply wall off the world on an emotional level.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that they stop talking. In many cases, they’re talking quite a bit.
However, what this means is that they have emotionally frozen your relationship.
You have to remember that a real relationship always involves constant growth.
We’re always learning from each other. We’re always growing into each other. We’re always getting under each other’s skins.
That’s what makes a relationship a relationship.
It is not smooth. It is not clean. It’s not airbrushed.
It involves constant struggle. There are lots of happy moments, but there are also lots of bumps down the road.
Cancer people who simply try to tune out their relationships simply wall off their emotions.
What this means is they stop communicating on an emotional level.
They no longer allow you to get under their skin. They no longer allow you deep inside their heart.
As you can probably already tell, this can kill your relationship.
Relationship is built on emotional authenticity and interplay. There has to be give and take on an emotional level.
Cancer guys who are lazy and boring tend to play the game differently. They’re still walling you off, but they do it by appearing to not care.
In other words, they allow their emotional wall to manifest itself into a high degree of apathy.
Most of the time, this reflects the fact that they are simply taking you for granted. That’s the worst thing that you can do in a relationship.
If you notice this, then you need to have a deep and real talk with your Cancer boyfriend. Because if he keeps this up, your relationship is, for all intents and purposes, dead.
This person is taking you for granted and is not taking the relationship seriously.
This person doesn’t want to grow in the relationship. This person doesn’t expect anything from you, and acts like he has no expectations from himself.
That’s why he’s lazy and boring.
They Have to be Proactive
Why be proactive? Why try to be witty and try to be vibrant?
It’s very easy for them to think this way. Why?
If you have an intimate relationship with your partner, they might end up thinking this way. They might ask themselves this question.
“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk?” I hope you get my point.
So if your boyfriend has been acting like he’s lazy and boring, you might need to talk to him. You might need to lay all your cards on the table and call him out.
If he still insists on simply going through the motions and not really lifting his end of the relationship, then you need to head out the door.
Don’t be afraid to head for the exit. Why?
You deserve somebody better.
Most importantly, you should expect more of yourself. If you settle for a guy who is a loser then, guess what, it means you’re a loser too.
You can’t settle for people who are not going to give you their best. Why?
A real relationship means you give your best and they give their best.
It’s not a contract where everybody has to exchange obligations, but it means you respect the relationship enough to do your very best.
A lazy, boring, and ineffectual lover is worthless.
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