Among the horoscope signs, one of the most conflicted is the Cancer. It’s very easy to see why. The Cancer, after all, is based on the crab.
When was the last time you opened a crab up? Inside that thick and tough shell is moist tasty meat.
This is why crab meat is so popular. It’s moist, soft, and succulent.
However, to get to that soft meat, you have to peel back that hard outer shell.
Well, from an emotional perspective, this dichotomy between a tough exterior and a very soft interior drives the Cancer.
They really make a big effort on looking tough and well-put together. They really go out of their way to project a solid exterior to the rest of the world.
In most situations, they look like they have everything figured out.
Cancers look calm, driven, focused, and going places in life. They appear to have all their ducks lined up in a row and everything is going smoothly for them.
Well, don’t let appearances fool you – inside, they are often falling apart.
Deep inside, Cancers always second guess themselves. They are often their own worst critics. There’s a roiling sea of insecurity and deep feelings of inadequacy.
The most successful Cancer men or women often suffer from the Impostor Syndrome where they feel that everything that’s good in their lives happened by accident.
Either that or they feel they’re fooling people and don’t really deserve the good things they have going on. Talk about a contradiction.
Another Cancer personality factor that reflects the crab’s anatomy is their response to external pressures, threats, and challenges.
When things get rough emotionally, they tend to retreat into their emotional armor.
Put all these factors together and you can see why the Cancer is often conflicted. You can see why the Cancer often feels that he/she is stuck in an anxiety-ridden relationship.
If you’re a Cancer and you want your relationship to work, pay attention to the following signs.
These should be red flags to you. You need to work on your relationship double time.
Otherwise, if you let these signs get worse, your relationship will head for the rocks.
You Clam Up When Conflict Arises
Real relationships have space for conflict. They have to. Why?
People are imperfect. We all have our faults. We all have our shortcomings.
When you put two people together, there are bound to be disagreements.
When two people are in a relationship, the relationship must have enough space for these disagreements. It must be able to survive these quarrels.
Otherwise, you’re not in a real relationship.
Instead, you’re simply walking on eggshells around each other. You’re not really engaging each other with a high degree of emotional authenticity and honesty.
Instead, you’re just hanging on to that tiny sliver of shared interests and happy moments. Take that away and you don’t have much of a relationship.
If anything, conflicts, fights, and quarrels make relationships grow.
Fighting can be a sign of a healthy relationship.
It depends on how you choose to fight.
Unfortunately, if you see yourself clamming up when conflict arises, you’re not letting the relationship grow.
When you feel that you would rather not say something for fear of offending your partner, your relationship is effectively stuck.
You Crawl into Your Shell if You Don’t Get What You Want
Real relationships all involve a give-and-take dynamic. For you to get something, you have to give something up.
In many cases, relationships that last a lifetime involve both sides committing to the relationship and sacrificing parts of themselves.
This is how lifelong faithful relationships are maintained. This is how you can tell relationships of convenience apart from real relationships.
It all depends on how much you’re willing to give up.
Unfortunately, if you make it a habit of crawling into your shell when you don’t get what you want, you stop participating. You really do.
You no longer participate in the give-and-take dynamics of your relationship. You allow your partner to just take, take, and take.
Worst of all, you end up beating yourself up.
You’re supposed to get something from your relationship. Otherwise, it’s not much of a relationship.
You Write Your Partner Off Emotionally When It Comes to Some of Your Needs
This really is a natural odd growth of the point raised above.
You may have made a habit of constantly crawling into your shell that it reaches its worst logical point. Which point is that?
You reach a point where you basically write off your partner emotionally.
You feel that your needs probably will never be met. As a result, you just hang on to the relationship, but no longer have any expectations of your partner.
In your mind, your partner will never emotionally grow. This can kill your relationship.
You have to understand that real relationships involve mutual growth.
This growth is often painful. This growth often arises out of conflict.
However, it’s necessary.
Unfortunately, if one partner writes off the other partner as essentially being emotionally retarded, your relationship will be stuck on neutral forever.
You Feel You Have Enough Problems of Your Own and Can’t Really Deal With Your Partner’s Issues
Another very common issue with dysfunctional Cancer relationships is emotional selfishness.
There is a reason why people form relationships.
They’re looking for soul partners. They’re looking for soul mates. They’re looking for people they can help and people that can help them.
In other words, they’re looking for partnerships.
When you feel so wrapped up in your own personal issues that you really don’t have the time or energy for your partner’s problems, your relationship is bound to suffer.
You’ve basically left the picture. You have to get in there. You have to share.
You have to help, for you to be helped.
The good news about the red flags raised above is that they’re not fatal.
You still have enough time and opportunity to turn things around.
It all depends on your willpower.
Are you willing to save your relationship? Do you feel that your relationship is worth it?