Why are addictive relationships bad? Are all addictions necessarily harmful?
I am sorry to break this to you, but addictions have been classified by psychologists as negative psychological patterns.
In other words, whenever you are engaged in any addiction, whether it is smoking, gambling, drugs or lovemaking, addiction is a disease.
Addiction is going to be harmful. Addiction is going to produce negative results for you eventually.
Before we dive into addictive Taurus relationship signs, I need to recap addiction patterns.
It is one thing to figure out the signs of an addictive relationship. It is another to be fully aware of how addictions work.
Addictions are very powerful because they deal with your mental processes.
You get a mental image and you derive certain emotional payoffs from that mental image or mental impulse.
These emotional payoffs then trigger physical reactions, which then trigger another round of emotional rewards.
If you pay attention to how these all work out, you can see that this all pretty much plays out automatically. This is why addictions are hard to break.
They are often unconscious. Once a certain trigger appears, you will all of a sudden find yourself behaving a certain way.
Once you become aware of your behavior, it is really too late. The process has played itself out.
To break an addiction, you have to hit the addiction process at the stage where it is easiest to attack, which is the mental image.
Once you try to stop your physical actions, it is too late. The emotional payoffs are just too strong for you to resist.
You have to change your mindset to get out of any addiction. This is especially true when it comes to relationship addictions.
Here are six signs Taurus women need to pay attention to that indicate that they are in an addictive relationship.
Sign #1: You keep thinking about him in an idealized way
It is okay to think about your man every day.
In fact, it is okay to think about your man all throughout the day. That is part of being in love. That is part of being emotionally engaged to somebody.
However, if you think about that special man in your life in an idealized way, this can be a red flag for relationship addiction.
As I mentioned earlier, it is okay to think about him, just do not think about him in an idealized way. Why is this a problem?
When you think about a person in an idealized way, you are not appreciating and respecting them based on who they are.
Instead, you superimposed on them how you want to see them. In other words, you are not even dealing with a real person.
You are dealing with a cartoon of that person based on your own needs and insecurities.
This is a serious problem because the relationship is eventually going to be based on a lie. Worst of all that is a lie you imposed on yourself.
Sign #2: You get really mad at him, but it is very easy to soothe you
When you see his flaws and he does something that you are not happy with, you get really mad at him.
This is perfectly okay because in any relationship, you are essentially dealing with two very different people and there will always be rough edges.
Fights are natural by-products of relationships, and it shows you are not just playing games.
If you are looking to savor the sweet nectar of love, then you have to risk the very bitter taste of disagreement and pain.
Most people can get that. Most people are comfortable with that.
However, if you notice that you are simply getting mad at him so that he can soothe you, this might be a sign of trouble.
If you are intentionally fighting with him so that he can make up with you, you are addicted to him soothing you. This is very manipulative and this reflects a very shallow relationship.
Instead of looking at your relationship as something deep and focused on your personality distinctions, you look at it as really a series of emotional signals that feed into your addiction.
This is very wrong.
Sign #3: You keep imagining an ideal future with him…based only on your ideas
Any kind of imbalance in any relationship is a sign of a sick relationship.
Real relationships involve two adults.
This means two people holding up both ends of the relationship. In other words, one person should not be carrying the other person.
Unfortunately, this also works the other way.
If you imagine an ideal future with him, but based solely on your ideals for that relationship, this means that you only value the relationship because of what you can do for it.
In other words, you value the relationship based on how it can serve you and your fantasies.
Again, this causes all sorts of imbalances because you are looking at the relationship to do something for you instead of you sacrificing something for the relationship.
You have to remember that real relationships involve the death of both people in the relationship.
I know that may sound weird, but the reality is if you are a very selfish person, you really cannot have a relationship because relationships are all about compromise.
Relationships are all about putting the needs of the relationship first ahead of your own individual needs. I hope you get the point.
Sign #4: You keep thinking of ways to “improve” him
If you are in love with somebody, you have to necessarily accept that person.
There is no such thing as conditional love. There is no such thing as love without acceptance. That is a lie.
Unfortunately, it is a very effective lie that is being pedaled to many people, and many people eat it up.
You cannot be in love with somebody with the ulterior motive of improving that person. This means that you have not fully accepted them.
In many cases, you have not accepted them at all.
The only thing that you have accepted about that person is that that person can somehow and someway reach that ideal state wherein they would then earn your love.
What is wrong in this picture? This points to love as not being present at all.
You are just looking at that person as simply clay in your hands whom you can mold to a form that you can then allow yourself to fall in love with. You are simply using that person.
Sign #5: You keep thinking of ways to “repair” him
This really is not much of an improvement from looking at that special guy in your life as somebody that you are out to improve.
If you are looking at your love partner as somebody that you must repair for you to fully love, then you should not be in that relationship.
Real relationships are based on acceptance.
It means taking that person based on where they are in their lives and based on who they are currently, and loving them.
This means unconditional love. This means that you should not impose certain conditions or certain time lines for you to truly bond with that person on an emotional level.
This is the problem with looking at your special man as somebody that you have to repair.
The implication being you will only love this person if you can repair them.
In other words, there is something fundamentally wrong with his personality that you have to fix it.
You are lying to yourself if you think you are in love with that person. You are not in love with that person.
You are in love with your idealized version of that person.
If you can accept this, then you can accept the fact that you are simply using him.
It is much better for you to get out of the relationship before you set yourself up for a lot of unhappiness in the future.
The big challenge with love is that you have to accept people based on who they are, not what you imagine them to be.
Sign #6: You are fixated on how good he makes you look in public
This is a very common Taurus failing.
Taurus people, you have to understand, are materialists. They put a lot of stock in how other people view them, which makes them unhappy in life most of the time.
This is why they work really hard to look good. This is why they often reach high social levels. Social appearance is very big with them.
Not surprisingly, this influences their love lives. Instead of selecting partners based on the particular features of that partner, they often focus on how that partner would make them look in public.
If a guy is a lawyer or a doctor, you get social brownie points. If a guy comes from a very prominent family, you get social brownie points.
This is all well and good if the guy is the right guy for you.
Unfortunately, you place too much stock on the social brownie points you will be getting that you are more than willing to overlook his personality.
In many instances, you are willing to just date him just because of the social status power he brings to the table.
This, of course, is the worst form of manipulation and exploitation. You are not in love with him.
You are in love with how he makes you look.
- Sign #1: You keep thinking about him in an idealized way
- Sign #2: You get really mad at him, but it is very easy to soothe you
- Sign #3: You keep imagining an ideal future with him…based only on your ideas
- Sign #4: You keep thinking of ways to “improve” him
- Sign #5: You keep thinking of ways to “repair” him
- Sign #6: You are fixated on how good he makes you look in public
What do you think?
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