If you are an Aries woman and you have experienced the heartache of seeing your ex-partner head out the door, you need to give yourself a lot of space and time to think.
You really do.
Otherwise, it is very easy for you to commit the same mistakes that lead to your ex-partner leaving.
There is a reason why people do things.
Do not think that you were just unlucky. Do not think that stars were just lined up the wrong way.
Nine times out of ten, it is something that either one of you did. In fact, most of the time, the reason for breakup is a combination of actions from both partners, like jealousy.
Do not be too quick to play the blame game. Do not try to blame it all on him.
If that is your strategy in dealing with your heartache, then you have a long road ahead of you.
You need to look at your situation with a clear set of eyes. You need to set your ego aside; otherwise, no progress can be made.
I am sorry to break this to you, but if your partner left you, a lot of the times it has something to do with you.
Of course, it is not all your fault, but you still have to own up to the fact that you are partly responsible.
If you are able to realize this, appreciate it and accept it, then real progress can be made.
Otherwise, you just have to hang in there and wait a little bit longer until you are emotionally ready.
Oftentimes, to move on we must first accept things as they are and take responsibility.
Once we take responsibility, everything becomes possible.
However, if we are not ready to do that, we have to wait. We have to give ourselves enough time until we are ready to take that step.
If you are ready to take that step, here are seven things to consider before getting back together with your ex-partner.
Are You Ready to Reel in Your Ego?
Let us get one thing out of the way. Aries people have a lot of ego.
There is nothing wrong with that. There is no shame in that game.
You just have to acknowledge it. You just have to accept that fact.
You have a big ego.
The reason for this, of course, is because you have a deep and profound sense of insecurity. You have a low self-confidence.
In many instances, you have low self-esteem.
You project a strong external ego because you think that would balance out your lack of self-esteem inside.
This causes all sorts of problems at work, at school, in your family and definitely in your relationships.
I am not saying that you should stop this because this is a key part of the Aries personality.
What I am saying is that you need to dial it back a little bit. You need to tone it down.
At this stage of the game, when you are considering getting back together with your ex-partner, you have to confront this issue.
What is more important, love in your life or your ego?
I know this might sound like a very simple question to answer, but it is not.
The ego plays such a major role in the Aries mindset that it is very hard to break old habits.
You have to ask yourself this pointed question if you want to revive your relationship.
You love taking credit. You love being the center of attention.
This often results in you stepping on a lot of toes.
Even if a person loves you, if you step on his toes enough times, you give him reasons not to love you. That is commonsense.
If you want to make sure that your dating relationship stays on track this time around, you need to consider sharing the spotlight.
I am not saying getting out of the spotlight because that is impossible with Aries people.
I am saying you should share the spotlight with your partner.
Why? Believe it or not, your partner also has an ego. Your partner also needs to feed his self-esteem.
Give him what he needs for a healthy mental and emotional sustenance and stop hugging the spotlight.
Sharing does not just involve money. It does not just involve the things that you have.
It also involves your emotional space.
Aries people are very defensive regarding their emotional space because they are afraid.
They are afraid that people can see that there is a giant hole in their heart. They are afraid that people can learn how much they hate themselves or feel insecure.
Well, if you really want to be in love, then you need to be vulnerable.
You have to remember that with great love comes great risk. To love a lot means to risk getting hurt a lot.
You have to understand this threshold fact. This means that you need to share yourself fully.
Are you ready to do that?
Real Forgiveness Requires Forgetting About Your Ex’s Screw Ups
You cannot get back tighter with your ex without forgiveness.
If you get back together with him, then you are basically starting up where you left off.
In other words, all these other issues are still floating.
In many cases, those issues will continue to grow until they blow up and completely destroy your relationship.
That would be really too bad because instead of your relationship helping to mature you and him, the relationship essentially functions like a crutch.
To fix all that, you need to focus on truly forgiving him.
If he screwed up and that is why he left, find it in your heart to forgive him. I know it is very easy to say, but you have to do it.
Forgiveness requires forgetting.
There is no such thing as forgiveness without erasing memories.
It is too easy for bad memories, no matter how suppressed they are, to come to the surface and blow up.
You do not want that to happen. You need to be able to forget.
Real Forgiveness Means Letting Go
Forgetting and letting go comes hand in hand.
When you let go, you are making peace with bad memories.
You are making peace with central facts of your ex-partner’s personality. You need to reach this point.
Otherwise, you will not be able to move on
Moving On Means Moving On at All Levels
It is one thing to say to somebody that you have moved on and now you are back to being friends.
Nine times out of ten, when people say they have moved on, what they are really saying is that they have moved on intellectually.
In other words, from a purely mental level, they have moved on.
They can understand how everything works on an intellectual level and leave it at that.
The problem is that it is just the mental level.
That is just me saying, okay mentally I can accept that, but for it to be real, I have to emotionally accept it.
This is why moving on requires all levels of your personhood.
Otherwise, you are just simply playing a cruel joke on yourself. Otherwise, you are simply kicking the can down the road until emotional landmines get the best of you.
Do not do that.
Are You Ready to Judge Him Based on Who He is?
Aries people can be judgmental. Of course, compared to other horoscope signs, you are not all that bad.
In fact, compared to a Virgo, you come out as a pussy cat.
Be that as it may, you do have tendency to judge him based on who you want him to be.
This is completely unfair.
You have to judge him based on who he is and what his potential is within reason.
As long as you keep it within those bounds, then your relationship can mature.
Otherwise, you are doomed to repeat the same tired and bankrupt patterns again and again.