If you’re a Cancer, and you have decided to get into a new relationship, pat yourself in the back. A new relationship opens all sorts of new opportunities.
It is a way to grow. It is a gateway to possible new happiness and new contentment.
It also may be the final relationship for you because this might be the person that you would want to spend the rest of your life with. There is a lot of celebrate when it comes to new relationship.
It’s very easy to get hung up on the past. It’s very easy to focus on the things that went wrong.
When you have a new relationship, all these new opportunities come up. These are the key things you need to remember.
Otherwise, you are doomed to repeat the past. Unless you learn from your personal history, you are doomed to repeat it.
Here are seven things to remember when you start a new relationship.
Each new relationship is a new opportunity to overcome past relationship patterns
If you noticed that your relationships tend to look very similar to each other, you are not seeing things. You’re definitely not feeling things.
There’s definitely something there.
You have to remember that people are creatures of habit.
We’d like to believe that we’re completely logical. We’d like to believe that all our actions are made through a very well-reasoned and meticulous decision-making process.
Unfortunately, when we try to say this, we’re simply fooling ourselves.
The truth about human beings is that, for the most part, we’re all impulsive creatures.
We often react in nature fashion to emotional triggers. In many cases, these are completely impulsive.
They come out of left field. This becomes a habit, and it’s often hard to catch.
If you remember that each new relationship opens up an opportunity to overcome past patterns in your relationship, you should pay careful attention.
You should start looking at your new relationship with wide-open eyes.
Be clear as to exactly what you’re doing and what your partner is doing.
Pay attention to where the relationship is going. It might actually lead to very familiar paths. Paths that you don’t want to go down again.
Remember to set the right expectations
It’s very hard to be miserable if you have the right expectations.
By the same token, it’s very hard to be happy when you have unrealistic expectations.
A lot of people who have horrible relationships have a tough time simply because they are the victims of their expectations. It’s very hard to get people to live their lives around your expectations.
It’s simply not going to happen.
It’s always a good idea to be realistic about your expectations.
At the very least, be realistic about your own expectations about yourself in your new relationship.
Always understand that walling off your partner is off the table
The typical classic Cancer response to emotional threats and emotional difficulty, in general, is to wall off your partner.
You simply clam up. You’re still agreeable.
By the look of things, it seems that you’re still in the relationship. However, deep down, you have walled yourself off or sealed yourself off from your partner.
The moment this happens, your relationship is for all intents and purposes dead.
Real relationships involve give and take between both partners.
It’s not just a give and take of emotional signals but also emotional investments in each other’s growth.
When you wall somebody off, and you write them off, you’re no longer participating. It seems that the relationship is only living on the fumes of the past.
It’s only a matter of time until it runs out of fuel.
However, don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean that your relationship has completely died.
Your relationship breaks apart. In fact, there are many Cancer marriages that are running on fumes.
This is hardly a recipe for emotional growth and personal happiness.
Your new partner is his or her person
Cancer people seem quite tough outside but deep down inside, they are often conflicted.
A lot of this is due to the fact that they are reading too much into other people. There is no such thing as Prince Charming or Ms. Right.
Everybody is situational. There are no saints nor are there any sinners. We’re all in this gray area.
Unfortunately, try telling this to a typical Cancer.
They like to put people and situations in neat categories and unfortunately, the world doesn’t work that way.
Time and time again, they become disappointed and brokenhearted because the world doesn’t seem to want to revolve around their emotional axis.
The fix for this is actually pretty simple: just accept the fact that your new partner is his or her person.
This means that this person came from a different set of experiences and came up with different conclusions. If you want to truly love somebody, you have to truly accept them.
This means truly trusting that things will turn out for the best. This is a massive leap of faith because there’s a deep and profound sense of lack of control, but that is the core of the emotion of love.
Happiness won’t come from your partner
Another common misconception among Cancers when it comes to relationships is there is an outside force that will complete them.
In other words, they are feeling unhappy and discontented personally. That solution in their minds is somebody else.
Unfortunately, love is not like a product where you go to a supermarket and take something off the shelf.
It’s not something that you take home, add water, and all of a sudden, it changes your life. It doesn’t work that way.
Happiness doesn’t come from outside. It isn’t a product.
Instead, it’s a process that starts from within. If you are able to remember this, your relationship has a higher than normal chance of working out.
Focus on the relationship not the person
One of the most common misconceptions about relationships is that it’s like a contract. It’s an exchange of promises.
If you’re loyal, then I’m loyal. If you give me this, then I’ll give you that.
Unfortunately, relationships are more than that. In fact, it defies contractual definitions.
Instead, a real relationship is a completely different entity. It has its own life and own agenda.
If you’re able to understand this, then you would be able to focus your loyalty and affections on the relationship and not necessarily the person of your partner.
This is why there are certain couples that are able to continue loving each other even though one has developed cancer, leprosy, HIV, you name it.
In other words, a real relationship that transcends poverty, sickness, and all of life’s drama.
Happiness and contentment are the products of your will
This is actually the biggest revelation that you should keep dwelling on until you start a new relationship.
Most people look at their relationships as some sort of magical pill that will solve all their emotional issues. That is not the truth.
Happiness and contentment are products of your will power. The people who are in death row have been shown to become happy.
People who are about to die of cancer have been shown scientifically to develop a high level of happiness and joy. This is not an accident.
This is a product of personal will and strength of character.
If they are able to achieve it, you can too. You don’t necessarily need a relationship as a gateway to this deep and profound sense of personal happiness.
- Each new relationship is a new opportunity to overcome past relationship patterns
- Remember to set the right expectations
- Always understand that walling off your partner is off the table
- Your new partner is his or her person
- Happiness won’t come from your partner
- Focus on the relationship not the person
- Happiness and contentment are the products of your will