The funny thing about Taurus and self-esteem is that this should not be an issue. From a purely social standpoint, Taurus people seem to have it all.
They seem to have everything going for them. In many cases, many people envy the typical Taurus. It is not hard to figure out why.
Taurus individuals, for the most part, look good.
We are not just talking about being physically attractive. We are also talking about being financially attractive.
They have the right jobs, they have the right businesses, and they are situated at the right part of the social totem pole. In many instances, they live in the nice part of town, they drive nice big cars, and they seem to have the exciting lives most people would die for.
From appearances, Taurus people are not only enviable, but it is very easy to hate on them.
It is very easy to feel bad when one compares one’s life to the life of a Taurus. However, perception is not reality.
In many cases, Taurus people have self-esteem issues. The whole world might think that they have life by the horns, but in reality Taurus individuals can suffer from a deep and profound sense of inadequacy.
They might think that a lot of things in their lives are not the way they should be.
In many cases, they focus more on what they do not have instead of the things that they are doing right and the things that they have.
If you are a Taurus person and you are suffering from self-esteem issues, here are four lessons that you can learn to get a new perspective.
These four lessons can lead you to a healthier self-esteem.
Lesson #1: No one can give you self-esteem.
You have to understand that self-esteem is precisely that. It is based on self and it is based on how you esteem yourself.
In other words, you are the one who is judging.
You are the one who is giving value to yourself. That is where self-esteem comes from.
It is how you appraise yourself. It is how you size yourself up.
Not surprisingly, nobody else can do this for you. Nobody else can tell you that you are worthwhile. Nobody else can tell you that you are worth something.
People can constantly tell you that you are doing well. People can constantly tell you that they envy you. People can always tell you that you are a great person.
However, none of that adds up to much of anything as far as self-esteem is concerned.
Why? Self-esteem comes from you.
It is your self-assessment. It is how you size yourself up. In other words, you call the shots.
Unfortunately, too many Taurus people equate external validation and external applause with self-esteem.
It does not work that way. Why?
You have to clap for yourself. You have to give yourself a favorable rating.
Nobody else can. That is the definition of self-esteem.
Even if the whole world loves you, if you have low self-esteem you are going to have low self-esteem.
You have to give it to yourself. Your self-esteem is never based on how others look at you and look up to you.
Lesson #2: Self-esteem is not a door prize, it is earned
One of the most debilitating misconceptions people have about self-esteem is that it is some sort of door prize like respect.
Respect is earned. It is not something that is given to you just because you showed up. The same applies to self-esteem.
You would not really automatically feel good about yourself just because you are doing things the same way as everybody else is doing.
You do not automatically feel good about yourself just because you woke up in the morning. It does not work that way.
You have to earn it. You have to detect certain signals in the external world and tie it in with your own internal signals for you to arrive at a healthy level of self-esteem.
You have to allow yourself to earn self-esteem. You have to put yourself in that position.
Otherwise, you are simply going to fall into the common trap of thinking that self-esteem is something that happens automatically. If it does not happen automatically, then there is something wrong with you.
This leads, of course, to a nasty vicious downward cycle. If there is something wrong with you, then you have lower self-esteem.
When you have lower self-esteem, then there is something fundamentally worse with you and so on and so forth.
If you are sick and tired of this downward spiral, then you might want to stop the whole process. You might want to get off that emotionally damaging treadmill and question your underlying assumptions.
The most important assumption that you can destroy is the idea that self-esteem is some sort of door prize.
You do not automatically get it.
It is something that you have to work for. It is something that you earn.
The sooner you can wrap your mind around this concept, the better you would feel about yourself.
Lesson #3: Achieve first, feel good later
While the most fundamental weaknesses of the current American educational system is this whole focus on self-esteem, the American educational system is set up where kids automatically get awards just for showing up.
As a result, kids are entitled to feel excellent. They are entitled to feel prized and valued.
Unfortunately, this does not match how life works.
In life, you have to pay your dues first. In life, you have to achieve certain things first before you get honor and adulation.
That is how it works. You have to put in the work before you can get your salary.
You do not simply show up. You do not simply feel good first and then get the reward later.
In many instances, it is the achievement that enables you to feel good. Simply feeling good does not automatically mean you will achieve.
In many cases, it actually leads to a high degree of personal stagnation.
Why should you sacrifice and work hard for psychic, physical and financial rewards when you are already feeling good. I hope you get my point.
Life works in reverse. You have to go through the sacrifices first. You have to go through the hurdles first and do what is needed for however long it takes and then you feel good.
Win the victory first and then allow yourself to feel good.
That is how real self-esteem works. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you will feel better.
Lesson #4: Real self-esteem is not situational
Another very important dimension to modern conceptions of self-esteem is that it shifts from situation to situation.
In other words, it does not really have a fixed shape. It is not really based on solid unchangeable timeless standards. You simply just roll the dice across your fingers and hope to get lucky.
Well, the truth is real self-esteem is not situational. It is not based on your mood. It is not based on situations out of your control.
You can enjoy a high level of self-esteem based on what you do, even if you’re an introvert. The sooner you understand this, the more in control you will feel.
As I mentioned earlier, basing self-esteem on how others estimate you and how others feel about you is like writing your name on water. It does not make any sense. It is an exercise in futility.
By understanding that real self-esteem does not change from situation to situation, you base your self-esteem on something real.
You base it on the solid bedrock of consistency and solid character formation and quality.