If you’re Virgo person, you really have a tough time living in reality.
I’m not saying that you are living in some sort of chemically imbalanced alternate reality. No.
Most of the time, you are a victim of your own expectations.
You have to remember that your reality is set by your expectations and assumptions. In fact, I would venture to say that reality is an imposition of your will.
Reality is what you will it to be. If you want to be unhappy, you will find a way to be unhappy and dissatisfied. If you want to be happy, you will find a way to be happy.
In fact, scientists have shown that people on death row and people with incurable diseases can be very happy.
This happiness is objective. Meaning, they can be measured by brain chemicals. In other words, this is real.
It all begins with an imposition of will and with the things that you choose to believe in a particular set of external stimuli.
Nobody can force you to be unhappy or to be discontented. It all boils down to your choice and your imposition of will.
Unfortunately, for many Virgos, they often make the wrong decisions. They subscribe to impossible standards that end up poisoning their relationships, careers, and world outlook.
Instead of feeling hopeful and living with a sense of possibility, they often disappointed and defeated.
From an objective standard, it seems that everything is going well in their lives.
It’s not that they’re broke or starving, but they feel that something is missing and they can’t seem to fully commit to being happy and content in the moment.
This is the big weakness of the Virgo because they are an idealist to the extent that they hold the world hostage to impossible standards.
This is very important to know because this can ruin your relationship.
All the temptations you feel flow from this internal dichotomy between what should exist and what really is.
Here are seven temptations that can ruin Virgo relationships.
Comparing your partner to your ex-partners
You might think that you’re simply doing an inventory when you compare a current partner to a former love partner. This is seriously wrong. Why?
Your ex-partners are never as good as you imagine them to be.
Similarly, your current partners are not as horrible or deficient as you think they are.
Unfortunately, when you always look to the past, you tend to idealize the past and imagine things that are not there.
If this is how you operate, it’s almost impossible to become happy. It really is.
You never give yourself permission to look at reality straight in the eye. Everything it seems will be held hostage to the impossible standards set in motion by an imaginary past.
Stop comparing your current partner to your ex-partners. It’s not fair to either of them.
Comparing your relationship to your ideal relationship
Just as bad as comparing people that exist with idealizations are comparing current real relationships to ideal relationships.
I’m sorry to break this to you but there is no such thing as a Mr. Right or Ms. Right. There is no such animal.
Ideals exist because they are ideas. They’re supposed to guide us, but they’re not supposed to enslave us. I hope you know the difference.
Unfortunately, Virgo people routinely cross the line. It’s one thing to be driven by a standard and principle. It’s another to let your life be ruined by unrealistic ideals and goals.
You do this constantly.
Unfortunately, when you do this with your relationships, you poison both.
You keep looking back to an ideal relationship that never was, and you paint your current relationship as being more horrible than it really is.
In fact, it might actually be quite an ideal relationship, but you never give yourself permission to realize that. Only in hindsight would you realize that your current relationship wasn’t really all that bad.
In fact, it would turn out in many cases to be just the right kind of relationship.
Unfortunately, your current relationship would have died, and you are only left with a happy memory.
You can’t live your life looking back at a series of unhappy memories and based on regret. Unfortunately, the typical Virgo mentality is very prone to this type of thinking pattern.
Cheating because you’ve written off your partner
Since you’re always comparing your relationships with things that don’t exist, it’s very easy for you to cheat on your partner or be unfaithful. Why?
You no longer feel that you have any skin in the game or there is no compelling reason for you to stay faithful. Why?
Your current relationship is fraud.
When you do this, what you’re really doing is you are giving yourself an excuse to cheat. That’s really all you’re doing.
There’s nothing fundamentally wrong with your current relationship. There’s nothing broken with it that cannot be fixed.
Instead, you come up with all sorts of mental games to give yourself permission to look for the love of other people.
You have to be realistic about what you’re doing. Otherwise, you’ll never mature and you’re going to be jumping from one failed relationship to the next.
The worst part of it all is that which each failure, you’re left blaming other people and asking yourself what happened.
Wanting to improve your relationship by rushing it
One of the worst things you can do in any kind of relationship is to impose impossible deadlines on it. You can’t rush love.
Love is based on trust and faith. In many cases, love is a product of proper timing and maturity.
Love happens because people are at the right time and at the right place.
They are also the right people. People change all the time.
We become different people. Different things affect as differently.
By having this impossible ideal with its own impossible timeline and using that to impose demands on your current relationship will poison your relationship.
Wanting to change your partner based on your ideals
Since you have these ideals, one of the worst things you can do is to try to change your partner based on these ideals.
In other words, you’re trying to change something that’s real based on something that doesn’t exist.
I hope you see what’s wrong with this picture. I hope you see toxic this is to real relationships.
Would it be nice to actually go out with Barbie or Mr. Right or the knight in shining armor? The real answer might shock you.
In most cases, the answer is no.
What makes people lovable is their warts. What makes people worth loving is their imperfection. You have to understand this.
Otherwise, your relationships will all fail. Why?
It’s very easy to see why: They never measure up to your impossible standards.
Reading too much into your partner’s motivations
Since you are an idealistic person, it’s very easy for you to become skeptical or be suspicious.
Since everything in your world has to be measured by these really ridiculous principles, you feel that it’s very easy to give yourself permission to be doubtful of other people.
This is why a lot of Virgos find it very tempting to read a lot into their partner’s motivations.
You might even think you are the best judge of character in the world. In reality, you’re just reading your suspicions and skepticisms into other people.
Nine times out of ten, you’re wrong, or you completely blow it. Things are often never what you think they are.
Unfortunately, you keep giving into these temptations and guess what? You sabotage the other person.
Eventually, you reach a point where you don’t trust them and whatever they do simply don’t measure up.
It should not be a surprise that such relationships will eventually fail. The worst part is that it’s mostly your fault.
Listening to what you only want to hear
Just as you can read too much into other people, you can also filter the things that they say. You can be very selective as to the kinds of signals that you pay attention to. This happens all the time.
Listening only to what you want to hear is a sure recipe for your relationship to fall apart.
You have to remember that real relationships are two-way streets. This means giving and receiving. This means helping somebody grow and growing.
Unfortunately, if you are imposing impossible standards on your partner, you’re putting them on a spotlight. You’re making the walk on eggshells.
Your relationship becomes a trial for them. It’s very hard to find somebody that will thrive in such a situation.
In fact, I would say that it’s impossible.
If you are a Virgo, and you noticed that your relationships keep breaking up, you might want to pay attention to an old saying.
There’s an old saying that if you get kicked out of one bar, it’s probably the bar’s fault. However, if you get kicked out of 100 bars, it may be your fault.
The whole point here is when you notice a pattern in your relationships, and they seem to follow the same bad script, it may have something to do with your expectations and your assumptions.
If you change these, you can stop giving into temptations that undermine your relationships.
- Comparing your partner to your ex-partners
- Comparing your relationship to your ideal relationship
- Cheating because you’ve written off your partner
- Wanting to improve your relationship by rushing it
- Wanting to change your partner based on your ideals
- Reading too much into your partner’s motivations
- Listening to what you only want to hear