Rebound relationships don’t necessarily have to be bad. I know this sound shocking and quite unconventional, but this is the reality.
A rebound relationship is only as negative as you make it to be.
The reason why people often have a negative view of rebound relationships is that they had bad relationships in the past.
If you had a good relationship, you wouldn’t look at rebound relationships in such a negative way. In fact, you wouldn’t even call it a rebound relationship.
You just call it a plain relationship. Still, based on the timing and the set of circumstances surrounding your relationship, it’s a rebound.
So my point is, there is really no hard-and-fast objective truth saying that rebound relationships have to be necessarily negative.
You have to keep this in mind because if you ask the right questions, your rebound relationship can be a very positive one.
Not only does it fill your needs, but it can lead to something productive and higher later on.
Question #1: Am I truly over my past relationship?
The funny thing about rebound relationships is that it has many different definitions.
The most common definition is that rebound relationship is a relationship you get into immediately after a previous relationship.
The implication being that you got into this relationship just to get over the previous relationship.
If that is how you define a rebound relationship, then most rebound relationships will be negative. You got hurt, and you’re just looking for somebody to replace what you lost.
This is unfair to the next person.
The solution to this is of course to wait until you’re truly over your past relationship.
There are no more open questions or open issues. This makes the relationship stronger and more worthwhile.
It also paves the way for the relationship succeeding based on its own terms.
Question #2: Am I comparing this new person to my old relationship?
Your old relationship might be over. You might be completely at peace with your previous relationship.
However, you can bring back the ghosts of that previous failed relationship into your new relationship if you compare.
If you see yourself comparing the new person in your life with previous people in your life, you might be setting yourself up for a heartache.
You might just be laying the groundwork for a bad relationship.
The truth is when you compare a new person to an old person, you’re not being fair to either people. You’re just beating yourself up emotionally.
The new person will never measure up. The old person will have all sorts of things read into him or her.
Moreover, you obviously become more stressed and less fulfilled.
Avoid all these unnecessary heartaches by simply refusing to compare people in your life.
Question #3: Am I willing to get real?
The main problem Virgo people have when it comes to relationships is their idealism. Actually, perfectionism is the better word.
You believe in this perfect world that exists only in your mind.
While everybody’s more than welcome to have their own set of ideals, you take it a whole new other level.
You make yourself miserable by measuring the world that exists with the world that should exist. This other world only exists in your mind.
What’s wrong with this picture? This mismatch between the ideal world and the real world causes a lot of stress in your life. It poisons your career, your education, and harms your relationship.
The most important question you should ask to yourself is am I willing to get real?
If you answer affirmatively, then you can start a rebound relationship. Otherwise, your new relationship will fall into the same pattern as your previous relationships.
Question #4: What do I have to offer?
You have to understand that relationships are two-way streets.
People have to offer and give. People have to take and receive. People have to give something up for them to gain something.
This is how real relationships are made: They are complementary.
Unfortunately, if you focus only on what you can get, chances are your new relationship will fall into the same failed patterns as your previous relationships.
You have to get over the tendency to want to benefit from your relationship. Instead, you should focus on what you can give.
Question #5: Is he or she the right person?
One key factor that sets apart a rebound relationship from a real relationship is choice.
When you are in a real relationship, you’re choosing the best person. You’re choosing a person that you think you can spend the rest of your life with.
At the very least, you’re choosing somebody that you can devote a lot of time and commit of a lot of your life too.
A rebound relationship, on the other hand, is simply just a stopgap. You just get into the relationship because you want to replace somebody who hurt you.
You want somebody that will meet your needs for a short period of time.
This is unfair because it’s like buying a bandage to put on a wound. Eventually, you would have to throw that bandage away.
How would it feel for you to get into a relationship and actually love somebody, and they end up throwing you away after a while? They end up using you.
You have to focus on finding the right person. This way, your agenda would not be focused on using that person to make you feel good for a short period of time.
Instead, your focus would be on building a real relationship with that person.
Question #6: Have I grown enough?
The reason why many Virgos fall into one rebound relationship into another is that they never really change, develop, or mature.
You have to remember that all the things that happen in your life are good for you.
I know this sounds ridiculous and even crazy, but the truth is even disasters that happen in your life can be positive things. How?
They make you into a completely different person. They help educate you. They help you grow and mature.
I know this sounds like a very tired cliché but it is still true.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
You have to focus on how you’ve grown in your previous relationships before you start another relationship. Otherwise, that rebound relationship will truly live up to its name.
You would be jumping from one relationship to another trying one human band-aid after another.
You keep repeating this process until you get burned out and you learn the lesson you need to learn.
You have to grow up and mature before you can get into a deeply fulfilling real relationship.